💋 Who Gets to Be Sexy? The Policing of Women’s Bodies

By Ally Cat

Women’s bodies seem to come with an endless list of rules and judgements.

Too much skin? Cheap.

Not feminine enough? Unattractive.

Be sexy, but not too sexy.

Be confident, but not intimidating.

Be well-dressed, but not slutty.

And this seems particularly relevant in pole - where merely appearing in frame with a metal rod can be enough to get an account shadowbanned on social media for 'going against community standards'.

👠 Pole, Sport & 'Being Respectable'

Pole has always been associated with sexuality, but as the art form began to explore more 'sporty' aesthetics, questions about what a 'respectable' pole dancer should look like came along for the ride.

Over the years, several pole competitions have included 'decency' rules around costumes, including requirements for full or substantial bum coverage.

These rules can be traced (in part) to a push around 2010 for pole to be accepted as an Olympic sport.

There were a lot of hoops to jump through to achieve this dream at the time - including the development of a pole sports federation. This had competitions with standardised rules and scoring, and the now infamous 'no visible gluteal fold' costume requirement.

It should be noted that this push towards the Olympics was not supported by a sizeable section of the pole community, who saw it as a form of “sanitisation” that could change the fundamental nature of pole dancing.

Ultimately, the Olympic dream never came to fruition, yet bum-coverage rules persisted in some competitions.

Recently, a competitor was disqualified over this kind of rule - an incident that raised plenty of questions about how such rules are applied. But beyond the judging controversy is a bigger question:

Why are we so comfortable telling women which parts of their bodies are acceptable to show?

🍑 Why Is a Woman’s Body So Controversial?

While riding a Sydney ferry recently, I caught a glimpse of an exposed nipple peeking out from a muscle tee. I mused at the shock this would have caused had it been attached to a breast.

People see a woman dancing in a g-string bodysuit and feel entitled to harass her, bully her, and leave hurtful comments, while a man can jog down the street shirtless without anyone batting an eyelid - let alone suggesting he’s violating the moral fabric of society.

Are glutes more scandalous than pecs? Only if they belong to a woman, apparently.

Women have spent centuries being told that their bodies are simultaneously too much and not enough.

When the societal message tells women that owning their sexuality is somehow shameful or sinful, there are consequences. Women who ignore the morality police can face judgement, discrimination and dehumanisation, simply for refusing to conform.

And sex workers often find themselves on the front line of this stigma.

When they are simultaneously sexualised and dehumanised by a customer, the worst types of behaviour can result.

This is one reason why, as pole dancers, we should care about the bigger picture.

🔥 So What Do We Do About It?

We can choose to keep reinforcing ideas about what is “appropriate” for women to wear and how much skin is acceptable.

Or, we can move beyond these ideas and let our competitors decide for themselves what they feel is appropriate for the type of performance they are bringing to the stage.

Ultimately, competition organisers will make those decisions for themselves.

But, we also have a choice about whether or not we participate in competitions with requirements we don't agree with.

These days, we're lucky to have plenty of options, so it makes sense to support the competitions that align with our values.

💋 Maybe It’s About Choice

Perhaps the goal isn’t to decide how much of a woman’s body is acceptable to show, but to support spaces where women can make those choices for themselves without shame.

I’m not arguing against all standards or boundaries in society.

I’m just saying they should be applied equally and fairly.

And we should be wary of enforcing standards within our own industry that disproportionately police women - particularly when women are so heavily represented in both pole and sex work.

Maybe the question isn’t 'how much skin is too much', but rather, who gets to decide 💋