💋 Consent Doesn’t Stop Because You’re Getting Paid

By Ally Cat

There seems to be some confusion around the idea that when money changes hands, consent is automatically broad and assumed.

It isn’t.

A sex worker can agree to one service and not another. A stripper can agree to a lap dance and not to being touched. And a worker saying yes to a booking never means that the client has unlimited access to her body.

Payment is payment for an agreed service only. Anything further requires negotiation and explicit consent.

🚨 Consent Doesn't Come With a Price Tag

This distinction feels particularly important right now, as Australia watches the unfolding controversy involving Sydney Swans players and women hired to perform for them.

Police are investigating allegations that one woman was touched without consent; no charges have been laid, and the players have denied criminal misconduct.

Whatever the eventual outcome of that investigation, the conversation around it has highlighted something much bigger:

What happens when a woman’s sexuality is treated as an invitation?

💋 When 'Men Behaving Badly' Becomes Normal

As someone who worked in the sex industry for ten years, I can say that 'men behaving badly' towards adult entertainers is sadly not uncommon.

Groping, slapping, coercion, disrespecting personal space, verbal insults, rudeness and hostility were a weekly - if not daily - occurrence for me.

Sure, they were the minority.

But they were ever-present.

What became clear to me was that an uncomfortable number of men will engage in truly disgusting behaviour when they think no one is looking - or at least, no one who cares.

And a disappointing number of men will turn a blind eye to their mates’ bad behaviour.

I know many of us have seen this type of behaviour on a night out with the girls too - just hopefully not quite as frequently as I saw it in the context of working as a stripper.

🧠 The Bigger Picture

Women have been fighting for respect, self-reliance and bodily autonomy for centuries - and sometimes it feels like one step forward, two steps back.

A recent University of Melbourne study found concerning levels of hostile beliefs towards women among young Australians, particularly among the Gen Z boys and young men surveyed.

The study explored attitudes around consent, including the acceptability of marital rape and sexual pressure within relationships, as well as looking at the prevalence of broader misogynistic beliefs. The shocking results highlight just how much work there is still to do when it comes to challenging harmful views towards women - especially in our younger generation.

These kinds of hostile attitudes can have particularly serious consequences for women in the sex industry, where workers are especially vulnerable to harassment, violence and boundary violations.

☂️ This Isn't Just a Sex Industry Issue

As pole dancers, we have a unique opportunity to use our proximity to the sex industry to become some of its fiercest allies.

If you hear people saying things that perpetuate disrespect, entitlement or hostility towards women, speak up.

Challenge the joke. Question the assumption. Don't let 'boys being boys' become an excuse for behaviour that crosses someone's boundaries.

Because these attitudes don't exist in isolation. They shape the way people think about consent, entitlement and whose boundaries deserve to be respected.

And for this reason, speaking up benefits us all - but importantly, it helps keep our sex worker friends safer 💋